After I agreed to write a blog for AIK so many things came to mind, do I write about the bad experiences I've had with guys in the past, everything I thought a 'relationship' was turning out to be wrong, or the times I've been used…? You get the picture. Even though I had a lot of negative experiences in the past I could discuess I decided that I want to focus on the positive outcomes that have stemmed from these situations. Since abstaining, and being in Abstinence is Kool, I have not had one bad experience with guys and I am continuing to accomplish more then I ever thought I was capable of.

I wasn’t always abstinent. It was only when the men around me unknowingly made me realize that the decisions I was making wasn’t in fact self respectful, cool, classy, or attractive is when I decided I wanted to change my ways. This would eventually also lead me to becoming abstinent and taking the pledge.

I never thought that I would learn such a significant lesson from dating a complete jerks, and being around his disrespectful friends. The way my ex boyfriend and his friends talked about women enraged me. These guys would talk so lowly of women, only talking about the physical aspects of women like their ‘butts’ or ‘breast’, being proud of having sex with a girl and leaving them!

Even though what these guys were saying was horrible, I couldn’t be more thankful that I was constantly around their ‘guy’ talk because it opened my eyes and made me realize the girl that I did not want to be anymore.

When I finally got the strength to break up with my boyfriend I decided from that point on I would focus on myself, I was worth more then the image I has previously put out, I would not be giving myself up to some guy, and I would NOT ever be refereed to as a piece of behind- If a guy really wanted to be with me he would respect my decision not to have sex right away and he would have to prove to me that he was worth my time. This wouldn’t be a problem if he was a good guy.

I made this promise to myself a year ago and so far I have been true to it. I couldn’t be more satisfied, happy and proud of myself.   Since I stopped chasing after guys and started respecting myself my life has improved in basically every aspect. I no longer have any piggish guys in my life, I am no longer involved in any catty girl fights over boys, and I’m no longer left feeling used. I went from a straight D student my freshman and sophomore year to a straight A student my entire junior and current senior year. I can finally hold a job where as before I would be to concerned with what my boyfriend or the guy I was interested in was doing while I was at work. I have also made SO many new girlfriends (which I am extremely thankful for <3), but most of all I have earned RESPECT from the men and women in my community. I am no longer treated like a BOOTY call. I am a strong independent woman.

I really am grateful for the lesson I have learned- It still boggles my mind that changing one thing in my life (focusing on myself instead of chasing after guys), has helped me improve so many aspects of my life.