What is the "Abstinence is Kool" movement? Click on the video to find out!
Heyyyy everyone! I'm Brieyanna and I have been a part of this movement since day one and I have soo much to say about these last two years but I'll shorten it to blogs length lol. First I wanna say thank you soo much to Kendra for helping me stay focused during the most important years of high school and giving me the opportunity to meet people I'll know and love for a lifetime. If she hadn't done what she was led to do then me and the many girls involved in this movement or even the ones watching from a distance might not have been walking down the positive path that we are today. So congrats Kendra for making such a big impact already on girls all over and we're just getting started! I love you! I knew it was really happening when I saw that Kendra was reaching the middle school girls before they had a chance to make any real bad decisions when it comes to sex. They know now that it's okay not to have sex and that Abstinence is Kool so they'll go into High school with a mindset to work and be successful without facing any obstacles that could've been avoided. There are going to be factors that come up in life that we can't control and we will have to deal with. So why should we add stress to our life that we can control by taking risks and having sex. Im a junior in high school and I know what the workload is like at my school so when I see soooo many girls pregnant I'm like how do they have time to deal with a baby and we have all this to do. I would rather direct my stress and worries to college and my career that I know I will be successful in. Seriously it would be so much more worth it to avoid the little 15 minutes of sex if that to just live risk free. I don't know about everybody else but it makes me happy to go to the doctor and not sit there worrying about whether they're going to tell me I'm pregnant or I have this disease or that. I have been saying this since this movement started; the time that I would have to take going to the doctors often for treatments for STDs or for being pregnant right now I can use and I am using to study and prepare for college. There is too much money to be made out here for me to slow down my race to success when I don't have to. I'm sixteen and I should be doing exactly what I am doing now, school work, learning to drive, and preparing for prom. Sex is not a nescessity in my life and it shouldn't be for anyone at this age. Soo everybody be encouraged and know that you can do this and that there are so many people around who are doing it and are here for you to talk to. I told Kendra the other day this is beyond a movement now! BET, VH1 and as I said before we're just getting started. So Everybody feel free to add me on facebook under "Brieyanna Lashay Champ" email me Brielashay@aol.com or even follow me on twitter @missbreeka I love you all :-)
In this letter im not going to sugar coat ANYTHING, Im going to keep it 100% real with yall & let yall know the dirty truth about having sex. Now with that said, My name is Shadea Murphy, I am 14 years old and already had 5 sex partners. I started in the 6th grade. In 6th grade I shouldve still been playing with barbies not out there havin sex. I never had anbody to tell me that, so at the time I thought it was fine. I kept it a secret from my mom for about a year until the word got around town that I was having sex and eventually got back to her. She was upset but she never once told me to stop or slow down, she just took me to the clinic for some birth control and told me to "Be Safe". Now I dont fault her for that I just wished she would of told me to take my time or to wait, If she would of said that to me maybe I wouldnt have ended up where im at now. My friends also didnt help me either, they tholught it was cute & encouraged me to have sex, not stop me. So with no encouragment to stop, I continued to have sex & hook up with people and by my freshman year I was known as the neighborhood whore. I began to feel the effects of having sex, like pregnancy scares and always getting talked about. I used to put on a front like I didnt care what people was saying about me or Its my life and people need to mind there business, but in all reality I felt like crying everytime I heard people were talking about me. It got so bad that some of my bestfriends didnt even want to hang out with me anymore. With all that going on I still was having sex almost everyday. After I would get done having sex I would feel like crap but then a couple days later I would be on my back again letting another boy take advantage of me. It was like I just couldnt say no, But then this boy Maurice let me know I could say no. Maurice was an older boy around the neighborhood, at the time we didnt know eachother like that but he still had enough concern to pull me aside and tell me about myself. He just flat out told me that I was not on a good path right now, and that I needed to change my ways. When me and Maurice had our first talk, I was thinking like this dude doesnt even know me like that to be telling me im not on the right path. So I disregarded him and continued to do me. He got word that I was still having sex and once again he took me aside and had another talk with me. He said the same things but this time I really listened to him, I even cried at one point. Here this boy was that I hardly even known, had enough concern for me to try to get me on the right path when nobody else had. After that talk I changed my life around. I relized that I was a young lady and should have more respect for myself so I started to cut boys off, not talk to certain people and a lot of other things also. Many of the boys got mad and some didnt want anything to do with me anymore. But that didnt stop me it just made me stronger and showed who were really there for me. I stoped having sex on October 11th 2009, It has now been 5 months, Now thats not long but trust it will get longer. I heard about AIK on VH1 and I decided to take the pledge a few weeks ago. Since I was already not having sex I figured I'd pledge to gain support from fellow AIK girls.Without Maurice I would probably be doing the same thing and thats why Im writing this blog to let all you girls out there now that you are not alone and that its okay to say no. Sex is a very serious thing and just shouldnt be given to just anybody and by writing this blog I hope all you girls out there undersand that.
After I agreed to write a blog for AIK so many things came to mind, do I write about the bad experiences I've had with guys in the past, everything I thought a 'relationship' was turning out to be wrong, or the times I've been used…? You get the picture. Even though I had a lot of negative experiences in the past I could discuess I decided that I want to focus on the positive outcomes that have stemmed from these situations. Since abstaining, and being in Abstinence is Kool, I have not had one bad experience with guys and I am continuing to accomplish more then I ever thought I was capable of.
I wasn’t always abstinent. It was only when the men around me unknowingly made me realize that the decisions I was making wasn’t in fact self respectful, cool, classy, or attractive is when I decided I wanted to change my ways. This would eventually also lead me to becoming abstinent and taking the pledge.
I never thought that I would learn such a significant lesson from dating a complete jerks, and being around his disrespectful friends. The way my ex boyfriend and his friends talked about women enraged me. These guys would talk so lowly of women, only talking about the physical aspects of women like their ‘butts’ or ‘breast’, being proud of having sex with a girl and leaving them!
Even though what these guys were saying was horrible, I couldn’t be more thankful that I was constantly around their ‘guy’ talk because it opened my eyes and made me realize the girl that I did not want to be anymore.
When I finally got the strength to break up with my boyfriend I decided from that point on I would focus on myself, I was worth more then the image I has previously put out, I would not be giving myself up to some guy, and I would NOT ever be refereed to as a piece of behind- If a guy really wanted to be with me he would respect my decision not to have sex right away and he would have to prove to me that he was worth my time. This wouldn’t be a problem if he was a good guy.
I made this promise to myself a year ago and so far I have been true to it. I couldn’t be more satisfied, happy and proud of myself. Since I stopped chasing after guys and started respecting myself my life has improved in basically every aspect. I no longer have any piggish guys in my life, I am no longer involved in any catty girl fights over boys, and I’m no longer left feeling used. I went from a straight D student my freshman and sophomore year to a straight A student my entire junior and current senior year. I can finally hold a job where as before I would be to concerned with what my boyfriend or the guy I was interested in was doing while I was at work. I have also made SO many new girlfriends (which I am extremely thankful for <3), but most of all I have earned RESPECT from the men and women in my community. I am no longer treated like a BOOTY call. I am a strong independent woman.
I really am grateful for the lesson I have learned- It still boggles my mind that changing one thing in my life (focusing on myself instead of chasing after guys), has helped me improve so many aspects of my life.
“Science Leadership Academy”
Helllllooo World...Well I'm Alexia and this is My second year participating in Abstinence is Kool...When I first decided to take the pledge last year I was 16 years old working at Rita's Water Ice, I was cleaning up one day when I heard Kendra on the radio talking about this new group that she wanted to start called "Abstinence is Kool..I'm not doing it . So that night I went home and sent Kendra an E-mail telling her that I wanted to join this group. I was a junior in High School at the time, and also living with the chronic illness, Lupus. Taking care of my Lupus is a major responsibility, it has also helped me to mature and make wise choices regarding my health both physical and sexual. Kendra emailed me that October letting me know that she wanted me to come to the radio station to talk about why I decided to take the pledge. I never really took the time to sit down and actually say why I truly took the pledge until now, I'm a very optimistic person and I dare to be different. I was never that girl who thought that I had to have sex to fit in, but I was that girl who thought I was weird because I was 16 and still a virgin. I’ve been rejected by guys so many times because I was not willing to” give it up". I felt alone at times not only was I not ready to have sex but I also had Lupus. Abstinence is Kool has impacted my life in such an overwhelming way, not only am I no longer afraid to say I'm not having sex I finally have people around me who feel the same way. Sex has soooo many responsibilities these days and I'm just not ready to take them on. I'm almost done my senior year in
high school and I will be a college freshman this fall. Abstinence Is Kool is really an inspiration to me because now I really know that it is okay to be different. I used to think that it was something wrong with me because I wanted to be different, I didn't want to have sex and now I know that there is not a thing wrong with Alexia Tonayé Davis. I have dreams, I have goals, and I have my whole life to be a woman. I loveeeeeeeeee Kendra so much you know I feel as though I can talk to her about anything, and I want her to know how thankful I am for her putting this whole thing together. I would have never imagined this two years ago and here I am sitting here writing this blog on why I chose to take the Abstinence Is Kool pledge for the second year in a row.... and I'm going to keep on pushing. To all girls everywhere who are reading this it's not to late, even if you are having sex or not. Say it to yourself Abstinence is Kool.I'm Not Doing It! If you start standing up for yourself, and your body then you will start getting the respect that you deserve. My siteeeeerrrrssssssss of AIK I LOVEEE YOUUUU GUYSSSSS...and to my girlies who are taking the pledge again this year...YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYYYYY.... I'm just so thankful to God that I finally have a place where I can actually feel comfortable with the path that I'm taking in life. This just proves that you don’t to have Sex to be cool because the AIK girls are not having sex and we are so fresh so and Kool..Kool[=! We are allll of that because as Trey Songz would say Yuuuuuuuppppp ABSTINENCE IS KOOL I'M NOT DOING IT...[=! Smooches Loves...[=!!